“How To Lighten the Load of Loneliness”

         Loneliness is an emotion experienced by all people.  It can become a debilitating emotion that leads to depression and also result in the alienation of friends and family. 

         There’s no need to be embarrassed by this emotion.  God certainly understands this emotion and experienced it Himself at the Garden of Gethsemene.  Fortunately for us He was so transparent with His disciples at that time. 

         So, what are we to do when loneliness grips us by the heart and won’t let go?  We talked about it this morning during our worship services and I wasn’t able to share all of the things I’ve been learning from God’s Word.  Below is a quick review and overview of what we didn’t have time to cover.

How To Lighten the Load of Loneliness

1.   Start by reviewing God’s promises concerning loneliness.

Before the emotion of loneliness can be disabled, there must be an understanding of the nature of God.  He has revealed Himself as a relational God and has made promises to never leave or forsake those who have entered into a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 13:5-6 (NASB) Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU,”
⁶ so that we confidently say, “THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?”

Romans 8:38-39 (NASB) For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, ³⁹ nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.                                                        

Joshua 1:5 (NASB) “No man will be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you.

 

2.   Refuse to attend your pity party when you feel lonely.  Instead, thank God for walking with you even when you don’t see Him. 

 Faith requires an acknowledging of God’s presence even when it doesn’t feel like or look like He’s anywhere around.

 Psalm 23:1-4 (NASB) The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.
³ He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. ⁴ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.                                                      

3.   Ask the following questions:

These questions will help you identify the source of your loneliness.

• Is there any sin in your life that is affecting your sense of intimacy with God?

Isaiah 59:1-2 (NASB) Behold, the LORD’S hand is not so short That it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull That it cannot hear. ² But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.

• Is there someone you need to forgive?

Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB) “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB)  “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, ²⁴ leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

• Have you isolated yourself from people?

2 Timothy 2:22 (NASB) Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NASB) and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, ²⁵ not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

• Have you tried transforming this draining time of loneliness into a renewing time of solitude?

Mark 6:30-32 (NASB) The apostles *gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. ³¹ And He *said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) ³² They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.

• When did you last express your gratitude for the friendships you do have?

Philippians 1:3-4 (NASB)  “I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all.”

• What are you doing to initiate new friendships and nurture old friendships?

1 John 4:11 (NASB) Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

 

4.   Eat right, get some rest, exercise, and keep on learning.                  

Sometimes your physical condition can prompt feelings of loneliness.  Rest, proper nourishment, exercise, and a commitment to constantly learn is a must.

1 Cor 6:19-20 (NASB) “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”

2 Tim 4:13 (NASB) When you come bring the cloak which I left at Troas with Carpus, and the books, especially the parchments.

 

5.   Be a friend even when you don’t feel like it.

Oftentimes your feeling of loneliness will evaporate when you choose to live like a friend.  Thinking of others has a way of getting your mind off your loneliness.

Phil 2:3-4 (NASB)  Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

                                                                       

6.   Allow God’s grace to heal the pain of loneliness.

Ultimately, it is God’s grace that enables you to overcome the pain of loneliness.  Remember that grace is both the power and desire to do the will of God.

2 Tim 4:22 (NASB) The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.

• Let the need for GRACE prompt you to pray.

Hebrews 4:15-16 (NASB) For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.
¹⁶ Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

• Use GRACE to extinguish all bitterness.

Hebrews 12:14-15 (NASB) Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.
¹⁵ See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;

• Allow GRACE to refocus your attention on God’s plan for your life.

2 Cor 12:9-10 (NASB) And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
¹⁰ Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

• Pay attention to “GRACE” encounters.            

Acts 8:26-31 (NASB) But an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, “Get up and go south to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza.” (This is a desert road.)
²⁷ So he got up and went; and there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure; and he had come to Jerusalem to worship, ²⁸ and he was returning and sitting in his chariot, and was reading the prophet Isaiah.
²⁹ Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go up and join this chariot.”
³⁰ Philip ran up and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” ³¹ And he said, “Well, how could I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

Coaching Tips for Raising A Wise Child Who Believes and Trusts God

Fathers Day is a great day to evaluate the influence we’ve had on our children. Since I was only able to cover the first three principles below in my Sunday Morning message, I’ve listed the remaining seven for you to review. The principles below will help you stay focused on the most important areas of influence and will also apply to any relationship where you have influence.

1. Teach your child to honor and respect God with your conversations and decisions.

Psalm 111:10 (NASB) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever.

Deut 6:5-7 (NASB) “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.
7 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

2. Show your child how approachable God is by including him in your prayer times.

James 1:5 (NASB) But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him

Psalm 145:18 (NASB) The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth.

James 4:8 (NASB) Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

3. Teach your child about God’s grace and forgiveness by refusing to base your acceptance of him on performance.

Ephesians 2:4-10 (NASB) 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),
6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;
9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

Romans 5:8 (NASB) But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

4. Help your child know the difference between a religion and a relationship by introducing your child to Jesus and talking about what He is like.

Jer 9:23-24 (NASB) Thus says the LORD, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; 24 but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the LORD.

5. Protect your child by clearly identifying and consistently enforcing age-appropriate boundaries in his life.

Prov 29:15 (NASB) The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

Prov 14:16 (NASB) “A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless.”

Ps 119:11 (NASB) Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.

Heb 12:11 (NASB) All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

6. Build a reservoir of truth that your child can always tap into by helping him to establish daily habits of Scripture reading, studying, and memorization.

Col 3:16 (NASB) Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Josh 1:8 (NASB) “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

7. Teach your child how to lead someone to Jesus by your example.

Proverbs 11:30 (NASB) The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls.

8. Encourage your child to walk by faith by sharing your personal stories of your faith walk.

2 Cor 5:7 (NASB) for we walk by faith, not by sight

Matt 19:26 (NASB) And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Heb 11:6 (NASB) “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

9. Teach your child the laws of sowing and reaping.

Gal 6:7-9 (NASB) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

Heb 9:27 (NASB) And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment,

10. Teach your child how to select friends.

Prov 13:20 (NASB) He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

2 Tim 2:22 (NASB) Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Eccl 4:9-10 (NASB) Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.